afraid
I challenge you do this exercise!
“What would you do if you were not afraid?” Try writing down your answer to this question. It necessarily need not be one thing. But when you take this exercise, for each thing you jot down - figure out what you are afraid also.
Don’t filter. Especially with the fear part. Just let your mind go deep and get it out.
The fear can be financial, or about being proven wrong, or about being looked out.
This has been one eye opening exercises and experiences which I have done. The fears I found out was naked! For example,it told me I was not afraid of writing, I was afraid what if my own bubble of ideas burst and was proven wrong.
Attaching one of my copies to this answer. It is a raw version, not edited. But going to keep it that way. Suggest you write your own list before reading my ramble.
What would you do if you were not afraid? (Nov 2, 2025)
My honest approach to answer this question. Will write what I will do as a section and what am I afraid of list respective to each item in the first section.
Pursue film making full fledged: I would quit my job tomorrow. It does not fulfil me beyond a point. I will go and become an assistant director. I just want to be around the movies and sets and discussions. I will finish my scripts, finding my group and then start narrating the story till I make it as a director and actor. I will just stay in that art for long as much as I enjoy it. I will reach out to people I admire and will work with them.
I will go to Wanjulshet (a village in Maharashtra) or some mountain and purchase an acre of land. Build a small red brick house in the middle of it. This will be the beginning of my silence monastery dream. I will tell that I have started this and have started batch of 3 and invite friends to come and enjoy the experience, give feedback. This will be my base also - to write, to think, to be in silence and to spread the silence. Will do farming in side.
I will start a simple show in YouTube - just showing my face and narrating my thoughts. Then also just here and there asking other people to talk to so that I can listen to them.
I will write - on religions, on Christianity and the truth I found till now. All my writing should be free or be sold for cost. Or the earnings will be for charity if I ever write and if I am not broke at that time.
I would pack my bag, go to Himalayas in public transport and hitchhiking. I would sleep in houses which open up, or setup a tent and sleep. Just wander around for 3-4 months through Himalayas and the mountains.
What am I afraid of in each case?
I won’t have money. I will go broke, after leaving a job which pays me well enough. The people around me will make fun of me. My peers can easily judge me. What if I actually don’t have talent and I am just delusional? What if I have talent, still I don’t get the right chances to take shots - will I be stuck for a long time struggling and looked down? What if I got opportunities and they turned out to be not so good - whole my know group can judge me, and talk about me behind back? What if I never get a job back which pays me well enough and is good enough - I will regret my decision forever? What if by the time I come back in 2-3 years, my skills become outdated and nobody wants me back in job? What if these risks put me in debt of 2-3 years - lagging to set up a family, or to be with my loved one? What if that day comes when I realize I cannot do that job at all because I am not built for that by talent and persistence?
People gonna judge left right and centre for such an extreme weird decision. And I am not even sure if that is the right thing to do! What if after starting in couple of years I realise, it was such a big mistake. What if nobody else come there? What if I can never make it turn successful?
People will judge left right and centre again. They will question my ideas, invalidate them and it will put me in frustration and anger. What if people who know me start thinking of me as some random guru or show off guy. What if I become a pride person.
Oh God! My ideas can create controversy - which means many would disagree, many would hate me. But bigger, what if some really come up with logical things which means whatever I found till then or I realise whatever I believe is bull crap and is just illusions. What if nobody watch and everyday I got 2-3 views. What if people think about me as an extreme lost guy who thinks he knows a lot of stuff.
I am not prepared with enough financial back up to take a break. It is not safe. What if I get lost in extreme situations. What if I get bored of the travel in between. What if I run out of full cash in between. What if I got robbed? What if I don’t enjoy it? What if I don’t find what I am expecting to find - truth or peace or something?
KEY FEARS SUMMARISED
God! Fearing that I don’t have enough money is one root cause. But the way I have framed it I will never feel I have enough money.
What if I make a wrong decision and I cannot revert is second one - I will lag than my peers, I will struggle for some period. I will not meet the societal or family standard of settling down or marrying. (Wow, really. Do I really think that I am in the same race as of my peers?!)
What if I am proven wrong - about talent, my beliefs or ideas?
What if people see me as arrogant one and start keeping me out or looking at me in different manner.